• 6 Surprising Ways to Beat Buttholes, Bullies, and Victimization

    Over this last few weeks, Etsy made a lot of changes. Every time Etsy makes big changes, the forums devolve into panicking, complaining, advice, complaining about complaining, accusations of “meanness”, unicorn-bearing mood lighteners, and complainers who complain about the people complaining about all the complaining. It’s a jolly good time. You’ve probably seen this kind of thing happen on social media,

    Read more
  • One Secret Ingredient To Stop Complaining, Victimization, and Self-Pity

    I write a lot about bullies, targets, victimization, and the like.  I expect many people skip over those posts because they think it doesn’t apply to them.  I’m not a victim!  I’m super confident and easy going!  Think again. Most of us feel victimized by something at one time or another. So if you’ve ever done (or ever do) any of

    Read more
  • Personal Values: So What If They Hate You?

    I have this friend who keeps asking me what I think of him.  Do you think I’m egotistical?  I really don’t want you to see me that way. Does it seem like I’m a bully?  I don’t want people to think I’m a bully. I can be this way, too.  Concerned, moment by moment, with what someone else thinks of

    Read more
  • Beware the Ego (Including Your Own)

    Last night I got an email from a Flytrap customer. She ordered sex coupons for Valentine’s Day about a week ago and was upset they hadn’t yet arrived. She also complained about my shipping rates and signed her email with her title (Esq.) after her name. Now for just a moment, I was all kinds of fired up.  All “Who does she

    Read more
  • The Problem With Positive Thinking

    People talk a lot of hope and positive thinking.  “Think positive!” “I don’t like all this negativity!” As if hope and happy thoughts deliver results.  But positive thinking in a vacuum is never enough to achieve any goal, to drive any business forward, or to become the person you want to be.  Positive thinking must be accompanied by action in

    Read more
  • A New Way To Recognize Adult Bullies: 7 Key Traits

    If you haven’t already done so, please see the first installment in this series on a fresh way to manage bullies. The basic premise is this: Bullies aren’t bad guys. Bullies and targets simply relate to each other in unhealthy, sometimes destructive ways. I believe the bully dynamic is created when targets fail to fend off bully aggression, which permits

    Read more
  • A Fresh Way To Handle Adult Bullies: The Old Way Is Wrong

    Bully Media has it all wrong – especially when it comes to adult bullies. The causes and solutions most Bully Media proposes feel detrimental to those trapped in such relationships. Bullies are demonized, targets are coddled, and most recommend application of a dysfunctional social system – the kind of system that enabled such a dynamic in the first place –

    Read more
  • Personal Responsibility: A Tool For Victims

    A few years ago, I got into a discussion with some people about personal responsibility. I argued that each person is responsible for how he feels (and responds) regardless of how he’s treated by someone else.  My companions suggested that attitude gives people license to treat others poorly. The conversation got a little heated.  I explained in my cautious way,

    Read more
  • 10 Creative Ways To Deal With An Arrogant, Whiny, Difficult Person

    A few years ago I was having some trouble with what I called a “difficult person”. I began studying narcissism.  Real narcissistic personality disorder, not just occasional narcissistic behavior.  I came upon many sites, blogs, and resources for people who’ve been “victims” of narcissists.  I even touched on some of my reactions in this article about bullying.  And I’ve since

    Read more
  • Screw Resolutions, Make Some Life-Changing Goals Instead

    There’s this thing I’ve been doing every year since I was about thirty. At the time, I was making trying to transform my life.  I had moved to a middle of nowhere frozen tundra that dramatically interfered with my aspirations for sunshine, fashion, and eating things that weren’t fried.  I was in a satisfying, highly sexual relationship with a tenuous

    Read more
  • A Housewife’s Dilemma: Near Not In

    I should preface this by saying I married a really wonderful man.  Now, I get that most happily and some unhappily married women say this.  And while we’re not all giddy with 20something love or having sex three times every day, there would be few people in the world who would dispute the goodness of this man.  He’s kind and

    Read more
  • How I Get Over A Cold Fast, Cutting Time In Half

    Dad used to say, “A cold lasts ten days.  Three days coming, three days of it, three days going, and one to spare.”  And, as a child and young adult who pretty much thought dad was the keeper of all intelligence to be had in the universe, I believed it.  Indeed, general consensus on Google search reveals the 10-14 day

    Read more
Load More


I create content and tools for creative solopreneurs, Etsy sellers, home makers, and self improvers. You'll get fresh perspectives to help you discover and experience a little more yay every day.

Learn more